A Short TailI think I'll just sit down and ponder, What I'd do with a much longer tail; Would it make the world sit up and wonder? Would it get headlined in The Mail? I'd probably meet Esther Rantzen, And Ned Sherrin, although that depends; Would he want me if I kept my pants on? There's very queer views on Loose Ends. I wouldn't have problems with totty, I could have them in twos and in threes; I'd ignore all the short, fat and spotty, Those with specs, and those with knock-knees. I could take my pick from the chic 'uns, Among redheads and blonds and brunettes; I would laugh at the daft young Mohicans, And scowl at foul maids in hairnets. I'd have them all swooning before me, Moaning loudly and then going pale; Not a girl in the world would ignore me: They'd all want to swing on my tail! Life wouldn't be all hunky-dory, Wine and roses, a merry-go-round; Soon my tail would get bloody and gory, From dragging it over rough ground. Then I'd need a gentleman's tailor, Who would carry my tail till it mends; Or perhaps I could find a kind sailor, Who'd knot it in hitches and bends. But now that I've sat long and pondered, About how what's entailed would be rough, I conclude that I needn't have wondered... My coccyx is quite long enough. |
Gay Noses (and other queer appendages)
|
Ink Amera |
(C) David 1/9/2007 |
Contact |