Gay Noses: Hearsay

Gay Noses (and other queer appendages)

a bees knees-up

Hearsay

If judging by the feel,
Of slowworm, snake or eel,
You might declare there's nothing there but tail;
But I have heard it said,
That each one has a head,
And some bits to tell the female from the male.

Now a bee cannot fly,
And a fly cannot be,
In the absence of a modicum of air;
For I have heard it said,
The bee would just drop dead,
And the fly be most indubitably rare.

Some say the platypus,
Would not make such a fuss,
Were it fricasseed or boiled up in a stew;
But I have heard it said,
You toast the beast instead,
'Cos the platypus enjoys a glass or two.

Now a bee cannot fly,
And a fly cannot be,
In the absence of a modicum of wing;
For I have heard it said,
The bee would still be dead,
And the fly be just a creepy-crawly thing.

The aardvark on its own,
Is never heard to moan
Or grumble aardvark solitude's not right;
But then I've heard it said,
When cruising in the Med,
The aardvark couples moan and sigh all night.

Now a bee cannot fly,
And a fly cannot be,
In the absence of a modicum of brain;
For I have heard it said,
The bee would lie brain-dead,
And the fly be quickly classified insane.

The water buffalo,
Is never very slow,
To charge whoever ventures in his swamp;
But I have heard it said,
He owns a water bed,
And freely admits girls who love a romp.

Now a bee cannot fly,
And a fly cannot be,
In the absence of a modicum of nerve;
For I have heard it said,
The bee would fly till dead,
And the fly would make a beeline, scared to swerve.

The feckless human still,
So often lacks the will,
To circumvent the problems that death brings;
I hear the claim is made,
As soon as you are laid,
To rest—Amen!—they'll squabble for your things.

Now a bee cannot fly,
And a fly cannot be,
In the absence of a modicum of life;
For I have heard it said,
All beings would be dead,
And their bloated fly-blown corpses all too rife.

So now you are a ghost,
And no doubt feeling lost,
You need someone who'll lead you on your way;
Suffice it to be said,
A ghost cannot be lead,
They're far too lightly made—I've heard them say!

Gay Noses (and other queer appendages)

Ink Amera

Contact